Wherein I start to bitch about my customers...

 So, when I point on the screen & say "right click my computer". What does a sentient being do?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sentient 

A: Right click "my computer".

B: Reach into their pants & start flinging crap.

C: Drool.

D: Dive to the start menu & start looking for........something.

 If you chose D , you have won the cookie.

 I had just tossed in a chunk of RAM for a lusers system & sparked up their machine. Of course, they want to hop on in & see how much better it works. No problemo. Of course they need to see it displayed in shiny numbers. Sadly,  it took 15 minutes for me to "direct" them as to how to....

Right click "My Computer" .   After physically pointing on the screen.  My finger was on the icon. 

And for them to click it correctly, as in "right click"

And then left click "Properties".

You guessed it. As in "left click"

And yes, I died a little bit more inside.  This person was a DOCTOR.

Full insult intended.

If your a friggin' DOCTOR, don't wave it above my head , before hand, like I should be bowing down & praising the soil you walk on.

Dude, if you can't follow simple instructions then I don't want to have you working on me. Here's a q-tip. Use it.

Of course I google'd his ass to make sure I never call him.