Thursday, June 2, 2011

You lose!! Good day sir!!

 And our winner of the day!!!

  Calling all the way in from beautiful Hawaii is........Roland!!

 Yes, this idiot called and claimed to be with US homeland security and demanded that I give him the corporate phone number for the ISP that we support there.

 Me: Sure thing sir....I'll get right on it....Hold please.... *Browses for a yummy halibut recipe*  MMmmm....Yummy....*forwards same to personal e-mail*....5 minutes pass.....

 * Looks over at phone*    Hmmm..... Crackpot is still on hold......*Hits disconnect*

  Rule 1: Be polite when you call me
Rule 2: Don't lie... I can tell when you're lying.

Rule 3: Don't demand.

 Rule 4: Don't be a dick or whiny in general.

  Look buddy. If you really worked with US homeland security why the hell would you be calling an ISP tech support line for a phone number?    Fail 1

  Secondly, you stayed on hold for 5 minutes.  Fail 2

Thirdly......Meh.....You're just a friggin' moron...I felt sorry for my co-worker that had to take your return call.  Fail 3.

Fourthly. Upon your return call you failed yet again.   Fail 4

The stupid is strong with this one......Fear Roland......You will become retarded through osmosis.

PS:  Dear Roland...They've got a great deal on tinfoil over at Walmart.

Just in case you need to make a new hat.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The birds have nested in my e-bike

  As I wake in the morning and make some yummy coffee, I look outside my kitchen window a notice some finches....Two to be exact...Sitting on my e-bike. One has a big bunch of "nest making gear" in his beak. The two of them proceed to hop inside the dash part of my bike with the gear. They linger and then depart without taking their stuff with them.  Hmmmmmm...

 Yeah, they were trying to build a nest in the dash of my bike

Update: Relocated nest about 4 feet away in the tree....