Here's the scoop. We aren't gonna fix your machine over the phone. Yes, you've told me about how your desktop icons won't launch an app but you can do it from start/programs...yadda...You've also called about some stupid file in you Win32 folder...blah, blah...
You've been calling us about the same shit for.....3 weeks.....We've told you that it is probably something malicious, but ....Ohhhhh Noooo.... It can be fixed over the phone.
You fail You've tried for weeks & wasted our time.
Unplug your shit.....Bring it in.....We could've had it fixed for you in a day.
And of course this ham & egger has never spent a dime in our shop previously.
Double fail with a scoop of ice cream on top.
He wins the prize.